Dear Volleyball Coach:
Over this past summer, my daughter decided to go out for the volleyball team at the middle school where you're on staff. I guess I assumed middle school sports still operated the way they did when I was a kid: if you wanted to be on the team, you showed up for practice every day.
Clearly, that's not the case. My daughter went to two days of three-hour practices after school, and then she showed up for the 9 a.m. Saturday morning practice session you'd scheduled. At some point along the way, she was told that 15 of the 45 girls who wanted to play volleyball for their school would be cut; there was "space enough" only for 30 girls, 15 each on the A and B teams.
Since she didn't play volleyball last year, my daughter knew she was one of the girls vulnerable to being cut from the roster. And, sure enough, when we went back to the school at noon on Saturday, we saw that her name wasn't on the list.
There are about a million things wrong with this scenario, but let's start with the "obesity epidemic" we hear about so often in the news. Every time this topic comes up, the focus goes straight to food. What are kids eating? What should they be eating instead? Perhaps we should ask why kids who want to be active at school are being denied that opportunity. Is it any wonder that young people develop a negative attitude about exercise when their earliest experiences with team sports lead to outright rejection?
I'm not going to argue that my daughter was the best volleyball player in the group. She wasn't. She knows that, and she admits it freely. But she wanted to get better--that's why she went out for the team. She hasn't participated in club volleyball or skills clinics because her interest in the sport just developed recently. The message you're sending to her is that if you aren't interested in sports from an early age, you might as well forget about getting active later in life. (And the idea that 13 is "later in life"? It's just absurd.)
And what about the girls whose parents can't afford club volleyball and skills clinics? I'm getting a much clearer picture of why obesity and poverty so often go hand in hand.
So when you say there just isn't "space" on the team for my daughter and 14 other girls, I'm guessing what you mean is that strong athletes would lose playing time if they had to accommodate less talented teammates. That, of course, would be a tragedy.
I understand that talented athletes can only improve their skills if they play against athletes at or above their own level. I'm not opposed to the idea of dividing the kids into A and B teams. But what about a C team, or even a D team? The band program provides you with an excellent model: no student is turned away, even if he or she isn't particularly talented. They're sorted into honors band, symphonic band, intermediate band--there's a place for everyone who wants to stay involved with music. Perhaps this is because music teachers understand the benefits to be gained from pursuing their discipline.
I hear many arguments in favor of school sports: they teach teamwork, cooperation, dedication, time management. I don't dispute that any of these things are true. But if you really believe these are important skills, I find it hard to understand why you'd turn away a third of the students interested in developing the very qualities you're so quick to defend.
My tax dollars are subsidizing the giant new high school football stadium that, I now understand, will benefit only a select few high school football players. My tax dollars are subsidizing your volleyball program, too--in spite of the fact that it's not available to my own kid. And while you may argue that this is always the case, that my tax dollars also subsidize the Talented and Gifted education that my daughter enjoys while others are turned away, let's keep in mind that everyone gets to take math. The fact that some students can't learn math at her pace doesn't lead to them being told "Sorry, there's no room for you in Algebra."
Luckily, I've taught my kids to be tough. When they face disappointment, I've taught them to shake it off and plan for the next challenge. Now it's up to me to do the same, to lead by example.
At church this morning, the reading from Romans indicated that I should retaliate with kindness when someone is unfair to me, that I shouldn't retaliate in kind but, instead, fight injustice with goodness--and that by doing so, I'll heap hot coals on the enemy's head. So instead of calling you first thing in the morning and telling you exactly what I think about your sports program--which, let's face it, would do no good anyway--I'm going to encourage my daughter not to give up on fitness. I'm going to encourage her to take care of her physical self as well as her spirit, to welcome and support everyone, no matter their failings. I'm going to teach her to destroy your power by exercising her own.
Game on, coach. This time, you are not going to win.
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