Chaos Theory

My theory is that when everything seems to be in order, you're looking at the flip side of chaos. Which means that chaos is right around the corner.

I came home from campus today at 3:00. The plan was to have a snack, get the mail, let my son grab a snack when his bus dropped him off at 3:30, then take him to the orthodontist at 4:00. But when I got home, I saw the fencing company had sent out a crew to replace our fence today. We'd been hoping they'd come this week, so I was happy enough to see them--just surprised, because we'd been told they would call and give us notice a day ahead of time.

I walked around the back of the house to let them know I was home--no one there. Hmm. So I went inside, knowing the animals would be a little freaked out by the strangers in the yard. Sure enough, both the dog and the cat were sitting squarely in front of the door, looking worried, wearing their Oh my God there's a stranger in the yard Mom what do we do there's a stranger in the yard Mom I don't know if you've noticed there's a stranger in the yard but oh my God Mom there's a stranger in the yard! faces. I fed Miss Kitty and put Hailey on a leash, thinking I'd take her out the front door and down to the mailbox while I gathered the mail.

3:02 When I walked out the front door, I was met with two more worried-looking faces: the two guys from the fencing crew were standing next a gushing pipe just to side of our front porch. I tried to figure out what had happened, but neither of them spoke much English. It looked like the pipe (a PVC pipe that runs along the outside of our house) had just snapped clean in two. I figured they'd hit it with one of the fence boards. I did manage to determine that they'd tried to turn off the main water valve at the street, though that didn't appear to have done much good. Meanwhile Hailey, terribly excited by the presence of strangers, was barking her head off. So I took her back inside, called my husband at work, left him a slightly panicked message, and called the plumbing company to ask if they could come right away.

3:10 My daughter Jordan called. "Did you pick up Andy at school today?" No, why? "Because he's not on the bus." Well. Excellent. I tried to call him on his cell phone, but Andy wasn't answering. The phone beeped to let me know I had a call on the other line. My husband, Mike, finally back in his office after class. I brought him up to speed and he reminded me that we'd bought a tool to turn off the water at the street (during another moment of plumbing-induced chaos.) I went back out to the water meter and one of the fencing guys was quick to help me figure out how to turn the cut-off valve. Then I told Mike I thought I'd have to call the orthodontist and tell them we couldn't make it today. But Mike didn't want Andy to have to reschedule; he wanted him to go ahead and get his retainers today. So he said he'd come home and meet the plumber while I went to the orthodontist. It's a half-hour commute through downtown from his office to our house, so coming home in the middle of the day is a major headache. Plus, his graduate class met for the first time tonight, and he'd planned to use those late afternoon hours to prepare for class. I felt bad that he had to come home, but I didn't know what else to do.

3:20 Andy called right after I got off the phone with Mike. We agreed that he'd sit in front of the school until I could get there to pick him up. Then I called the plumbing company back, to tell them I had to leave for about 20 minutes. They said they'd send a crew to meet me at the house when I got back.

3:30 The bus dropped Jordan at the corner. I briefed her on what was happening, so she could show the plumbers where the problem was in case they arrived before I did. Then I left to pick up Andy.

3:45 Back home with Andy, but no plumber. I called Mike--still en route. I told Andy to have a snack, then told him to brush his teeth, then remembered we had no water.

3:50 The plumbers arrived. They couldn't figure out where the broken pipe was coming from or what it was leading to. "I've never seen anything like this before," one of them said, and the other could only shake his head at the absurdity of our plumbing.

3:55 Andy and I left for the orthodontist; Mike stayed behind to deal with the plumbers.

By the time I got back home, the plumbers had finished their work and told Mike what we really needed was a complete overhaul of our pipes--apparently, they're the creation of "some handyman who thought he knew what he was doing" when he removed a water softener and re-routed the pipes that supply our house. Mike and I talked about whether to call the fencing company and tell them what had happened. On the one hand, we didn't think we should have to pay the plumbing bill; on the other, if the company did agree to pay the bill, we figured they'd take it out of the workers' pay for the day. That, or they'd just fire the guys for being careless. In the end, we decided to just let it go. We aren't rolling in money, by any means, but I'm fairly certain we can cover that unexpected bill more easily than two guys who build fences for a living. (Maybe I'll change my mind about that when I see our water bill for next month.)

Mike went back to campus for his evening class. The fencing guys stayed until 7:00, nailing up fence boards in the dark--and this is one of those actually cold evenings we get in January, when working outside in the dark wouldn't be pleasant at all. Obviously, though, they lost quite a bit of time worrying over the gushing pipe and still needed to finish this job on time so they could start on another project on schedule tomorrow.

After they'd gone, the kids and I went to the grocery store. The first thing I put in my cart was a six pack of Shiner beer, which made my daughter laugh.

"Hard day?" she said.

Indeed.